I found these ideas on plan-your-wedding-ceremony.com some can be used as wedding vows and some may be good readings to lighten up your wedding, either way have a great time!
Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres
A humorous wedding reading from both a husband and a wife’s perspective!
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Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear, and here’s the reason why; So I can push you out of bed when the baby starts to cry, and if we hear a knocking and it’s creepy and it’s late, I hand you the torch you see, and you investigate.
Yes I’ll marry you, my dear, you may not apprehend it, but when the tumble-drier goes it’s you that has to mend it. You have to face the neighbour should our labrador attack him, and if a drunkard fondles me it’s you that has to whack him.
Yes, I’ll marry you, you’re virile and you’re lean, my house is like a pigsty you can help to keep it clean. That tasty little dinner which you served by candlelight, as I do chipolatas, you can cook it every night!
It’s you who has to work the drill and put up curtain track, and when i am in a mood it’s you who gets the flak. i do see great advantages, but none of them for you, and so before you see the light, I do,I do,I do
Oh the Places You’ll Go by Dr Seuss
A humorous wedding reading by popular author Dr. Seuss! Another variation is to create your own Dr. Seuss-inspired wedding poem.
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Congratulations! Today is your day.You’re off to Great Places! You’re off and away!You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose.You’re on your own. And you know what you know.And YOU are the couple who’ll decide where to go.You’ll look up and down streets. Look ‘em over with care.About some you will say, “We don’t choose to go there.”With your heads full of brains and your shoes full of feet,you’re too smart to go down, any not-so-good street.And you may not find any you’ll want to go down.In that case, of course, you’ll head straight out of town.It’s opener there in the wide open air,Out there things can happen and frequently doto people as brainy and footsy as you.And when things start to happen, don’t worry. Don’t stew.Just go right along. You’ll start happening too.
OH! THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!
You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights!You’ll join the high fliers who soar to great heights!You won’t lag behind, because you’ll have all the speed.You’ll pass the whole gang, and you’ll soon take the lead.Wherever you fly you’ll be best of the best.Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.Except when you don’t. Because sometimes, you won’t.You’ll get mixed up of course, as you already know.You’ll get mixed up with so many strange birds as you go.So be sure when you step.Step with great care and great tactand remember that Life’s a Great Balancing Act.Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.And never mix up your right foot with your left.And will you succeed?Yes! You will indeed!(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed.)
KIDS, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!
So, be your name Buxbaum or Dowrie or Bassor Mordecai Ali Van Allen O’Shea, you’re off to great places!Today is your day!Your mountain is waiting.So … get on your way!”
I Wanna Be Yours by John Cooper Clark
A light-hearted and humorous wedding reading.
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let me be your vacuum cleaner breathing in your dust let me be your ford cortina i will never rust if you like your coffee hot let me be your coffee pot you call the shots i wanna be yours let me be your raincoat for those frequent rainy days let me be your dreamboat when you wanna sail away let me be your teddy bear take me with you anywhere i dont care i wanna be yours let me be your electric meter i will not run out let me be the electric heater you get cold without let me be your setting lotion hold your hair with deep devotion deep as the deep atlantic ocean thats how deep is my emotion deep deep deep deep deep deep i dont wanna be hers i wanna be yours
Valentine by Wendy Cope
A humorous wedding reading that is both short and sweet!
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My heart had made its mind upAnd I’m afraid its you.Whatever you’ve got lined up,my heart has made its mind upAnd if you can’t be signed upThis year, next year will do.My heart has made its mind up
